sunday at the studio

it was a get together for a family photo. mother with hari and seen nung.

mensch and hamzah.

the three boys of khatijah and mensch: hussein, khamis and hamzah form a quartet with giri. check out all their hairstyles!

just like a scene from a movie.

eternal lovers keong and jeannie acting out.

22) we watched as the river carried dad's ashes (& the white cloth it was wrapped in) away.

bye dad...we love you.
& we miss you very much.

:'(

21) my mum scattering dad's ashes into the river behind our house.

she said "now you can go around the world...since you like travelling
so much".

20) seng chye & peng soon praying at dad's final resting place.

the slots are roughly 12inches by 16inches & has a glass door.

there must have been thousands of slots on just one floor!

19) seng chye carrying the urn up to the 3rd floor.

we were worried that my mum might find it a bit tiring
to climb so high, but the 2nd floor was almost filled up.
she said she was ok.

all the "good" slots on the 2nd floor were taken.
we choosed a brighter slot on the 3rd floor near the front
door where the wind blows in.

18) the next day after the cremation, another round of prayers
at the kwang tung cemetery before we place dad's urn in its
final resting place.

17) after the cremation ceremony we had to change into
brighter clothes.

some of us were having an ice cream on that hot day.

16) seng chye & peng soon press a button that lowers the
coffin to the floor below.

15) praying at the crematorium before they send the coffin in.

14) family members have to touch the hearse to send dad off.

they were wearing only white socks but it was a short distance
to the main road.

after that we hopped into separate cars to the crematorium in cheras.

13) the hearse outside our place.

(that's pooi yee near the car).

my mum was advised not to see dad off (i don't know
why but apparently it's customary) so she saw him off
at our balcony.

12) in this ceremony, seng chye & peng soon were
required to wipe dad's face & the side of the coffin
with a piece of cloth.

after that all of us had our chance to say goodbye to him.

then they made us turn around before they seal the coffin.

11) some of the guests on the day of the "departure".

uncle quah & his friends were there.
my dad's sister, brother & relatives from ipoh also made
the trip down.

10) my dad's coffin. covered with a buddhist cloth that
the funeral guy says will carry him on a smooth journey
to heaven.

it's also used to drape his urn at his final resting place.

the umbrella protects him. it's closed & hanging over the
door of our house now.

9) prayers times.
pik yue was having her trial exams but i told her to come
for a while (from p.j.) to see her koong koong off.

she took the l.r.t. with her auntie & came later that night.

8) pik kay, wai teng, wai yeong, wai hon & giri burning
incense for my dad.

7) giri, ket chye's son, saying prayers for my dad at the altar.

we set up the tent at the car park next to our flats.

it rained the whole afternoon.
the air was cool that night & the full moon was bright.

6) the nurses cleaned my dad, dressed him up in clothes
that my mum & peng soon brought from home & covered him.

my mum & brother said their goodbyes.

after that things just happened very quickly.

we talked to the funeral guys, planned & arranged for things
to be done etc.

there was hardly time to grieve at that point in time.

5) dad's last night at the hospital :(

i slept next to him on a reclining chair, watching the
blood pressure/heart rate monitor. i kept telling him i'm
taking him home. it's his birthday the next day.

i kept looking at it blink the whole night. his readings were
way below the "safe" bracket. i kept praying it would stabilise.

when i woke up at 5.30am, 3 nurses were standing around him.
my heart dropped. he had stopped breathing. they told me his heart was still beating but very slow.
i quickly called peng soon & went back to talk to dad. i watched the heart beat monitor graph flatten.
he was gone.

4) mum cooked a special dinner for moon festival.
after dinner, i went to stay at the hospital to be with
my dad.

we were quite excited to bring him home on his
chinese birthday the next morning.

3) the bed & oxygen tank given by hospice on the
day of moon festival. we placed it in the living room
where there's more fresh air.

i also organised the home nurse to come the next
morning.
we were all ready to bring dad home.

2) feeding my dad through the tube.
he is fed 5 times a day at 4 hour intervals.

i learned to do it so that when we brought him home
we could feed him ourselves.
it was quite daunting at first but i actually got more
confident after doing it 5 times.

my dad's final journey

1) kumah,wai teng,wai yeong & peng soon with my dad
in assunta hospital.
he was already fitted with a feeding tube by then.